One of the biggest issues that children face today, apart from bullying, anxiety etc, is a lack of confidence. Confident is one of the most important concept to grasp, especially from a young age, as is serves as a foundation for any healthy relationship and effective decision making ability later on down the line.
Confident children come from confident parents
As a parent, it is important to remember that every action, every word spoken and every decision made by yourself, is absorbed by your child. If you are a kind and generous person who is always the first to jump up at dinner parties and help clear away the dishes, or is the kind of person to offer soup to a homeless person in winter, he or she will likely follow in your footsteps. Well, it’s the same thing with confidence levels.
If you are outgoing, actively engage in meaningful conversation and have a good sense of humour, your child will be too. If you are meek or display aggressive tendencies, your child will display splitting image of your unattractive characteristics and straits. It is important to be able to look within yourself and establish if you, as the parent, as the common denominator and the reason your child is lacking confidence.
Confidence comes from our thoughts
Yes, it is true. The way in which we think and perceive the world will determine how we react, communicate and behave in society. If we think negatively and convince ourselves that the world as out to get us, we will have a tough time communicating, working with an even being around people. This makes for a lonely person who, as a byproduct of negativity, lacks confidence.
How to be more confident:
- Groom yourself – if you want to feel good, you need like you look good. I know it sounds strange but it is amazing what a good shave, shower and a face mask can do for your self-confidence. It is the little things that make the difference
- Dress to impress – pick-out a stylish outfit for the day. Don’t sit around in pj’s or an old tracksuit,. This will make you feel sluggish and demotivated
- Don’t compare yourself – you are you and that’s amazing. Don’t live for someone else or to be someone else. Live to be you because you only get once chance.
- Your thoughts are not facts – We humans really do believe that what we think is always a fact. The truth is, when we believe that every thought we have is true, we open ourselves up to a whole world of pain and stress. If a thought comes into your mind that “you’re not good enough” and you believe it, it can trigger a ton of other negative thoughts and feelings around this
- Stop caring what other people think
- Stay motivated
How to spot someone who lacks confidence
A person or child who lacks confidence is a person who embraces the persona of an introvert.
Here are a few ways to identify these people:
- They display extreme levels of shyness
- They become clingy and want to always be around a particular person (Usually mom)
- The struggle to talk to people, even friends and family
- They find making friends to be a daunting task
- They don’t cope well in school group projects
- They struggle to share their opinion
- They are easily influenced and lack the confidence to say no
How to pass on the gift of confidence
- Encourage your child to share their opinion
- Engage in our famous mantra “Back yourself”. Mantra’s have proven to be affective with people of all ages. Backing yourself is believing in your ability to carry out a specific task , knowing you can do it but knowing that should failure prevail, you get back up and back yourself again
- Teach your child appreciation for the things he or she has: food, shelter, family and friends, good health. This will help them see the world in a new and positive way and teaches them appreciation for things that truly matter rather than for the appreciation of materialistic objects
- Create an independent child. Teach your child and provide them with the necessary life skills they need to become a young, independent child.
- Encourage your child to make friends
- As a parent, you need to actively arrange playdates for your child to ensure and promote social interaction and stimulation
- Praise your child when he or she completes a task
- Thank you child for good behaviour. This makes them feel seen and important
- Reward your child for achievements (chocolate, a movie, a new ball, a new barbie)